Why do I care?

I don't like Britney Spears. I didn't like her when I was a teeny bopper and she was the teeny bopper Queen. I didn't like her when she was spouting about her virginity, or when she totally broke her promise and turned giant slut bomb. I really hated her when I had to deal with 8 year old girls imitating her and I despised her when she reproduced with a white trash wanna be rapper and propagated her clearly deficient gene pool. I loath her now that she has fallen off the deep-end, is no longer even attempting to care for herself or her poor children. gone bar hopping with Paris sans underpants and has tried and failed at rehab twice in one week and shaved her head as a giant neon cry for attention.

Now here is the conundrum. Why do I care? As stated, I hate her. So why do I feel compelled click on those links stating Brits latest escapades?More importantly why am I actually shocked when I read about what every stupid this she has done today? I don't get it.

It's actually bugging me that I care. and I'm trying to figure out why. Here are my theories so far.
1. The poor little rich girl phenomenon. 'Look how screwed up her life is. Shes such a moron, she has everything and she throws it all away.'
2. I'm jealous. She has money and fame and super cool houses and designers throwing clothes at her. This is an unlikely reason but I'm put it out there. I don't want to live in giant house in California, I don't like most designers and I'm far too modest and shake my ass in order to earn said money.
3. I distracts me from my own problems and the worlds problems.
4. She's the car accident on the side of the highway that you can't help up slow down and watch even though she know you shouldn't.

Any thoughts?