Another week and apparently I get pensive late at night.

Another week of summer has passed me by. And I have a midterm in 9 days. A midterm in a class I started last Monday. Yeah, It seems very strange to me too but whatever. I won't have to study because duh! I just learned everything 10 days ago. Hell, I start studying for F/W term finals earlier than 10 days before the exam. I'm not worried.

I am, however, quite worried about my Humanities class. I have come to realise that I am not a Humanities student. I am an Anthropology student, a Cultural Anthropology Student to be exact. There is a difference. Humanities students are all about hidden meaning and implied messages and future impact. I ain't. I look at whats done and the social/cultural root behind a practice, custom, word usage, etc... OK, yeah I have to consider implied messages, screw future impact! I am trained to look at every culture as a non-static entity that it constant interacting and reacting therefore is impossible to predict. I like it like that. Sure it means every 10 years everything I learned it outdated or totally discredited but whatever!

I swear I have a meaning behind this little random moment of strangeness. I am taking a course on Terror (Actually the Horror Genre of literature and Film) and Terrorism (yes, Georgie's biggest enemy) and I am so freaking out of my league because I am so in to Anthropology that I can't think like anything but an anthropologist.

I had to read a book called a Very Short Introduction to Terrorism. It was actually a good book. Informative and unpretentious I thought I understood it well.

I did. If I were walking in to an Anthropology class. I was completely unprepared for taking that knowledge in to a Humanities class. I was thinking about causes relating to shared culture specific knowledge, and oppressive social laws and interfere with cultural believes and all that stuff that I have spent the last three years learning how to do. The prof wanted use to Map, Position and Relate concept without looking at the things I am used to looking at like home culture of the perpetrator but rather looking at the target. Yeah, that's a strange concept for me, and I don't fully know what it means and I don't know how to do it at a university level. I walked out of that class feeling rather stupid, confused and self-conscious about my abilities as a student.

I was longing for the simplicity of high school, which I completely took for granted while I was there. That of course lead to a whole new line of thought.Like how I graduated 4 years ago next month. It doesn't seem like its been that long. I almost feel like if I went to bed and slept really hard I could wake up and realize that the last 4 years haven't actually happened and they were actually a very vivid sometimes horrible dream. That's not to say I wish them away though. The bad things made who I am today just as much as the good things. Maybe the even more because the bad things make you think and reflect harder

No, too many good things have happened to want them gone.

I found academic passion and it shocked the hell out of me. I never once considered Anthropology as a major when I was in High School. Today, I couldn't imagine studying anything else because I love it so. I know I will keep learning about it long after I finish my degree.

I met one of my bestest friend (hi Laura!) in my first year Geography class. . She keeps me on my toes and stops me from being a total hermit crab.

I went to DisneyWorld with my other bestest friend, Krista. Yeah, pretty insignificant to most people, but it was an important trip for me. It was the last thing I needed to do before I could get over my childhood. Yes, I do mean get over it. I was not a happy child. No one took me, so I saved my money for a whole year, I got on a plane, stayed in a hotel by myself that first night, and I went to DisneyWorld. I saw mickey and donald and Ariel and I rode on its a small world and the mad tea party. I fulfilled that childhood dream and now I can lay it to rest. And Expedition Everest was the greatest ride ever.

I've made it more than half way through an honours degree. Yeah its taking me longer than I thought, but I' doing it. I'm proving to everyone who said I couldn't that I can, even it I am horribly lost in that one course. It's keeping my humble. Not that I think I need help wit that. My Research Methods course did that just fine.

I learned that it id possible to be away from home and not get homesick. That was during my second solo trip. I went to Maine. That was an important lesson for me. It started me on my wings in a way my first solo trip didn't. That first solo trip was one of the bad things that I wouldn't do over.

I learned not to be afraid of the Epi-pen. The Epi-pen is my friend and it means I don't have to fear the world so much.

There are some bad thing I wish didn't happen. I wish I had realized my beloved dog, Abel, was sick sooner than I did. Then I might still have him, or at least some of the guilt would go away.

I wish I told the guy who got away how much I liked him instead of letting my hurt get in the way.

I wish I hadn't stayed home to go to a movie with a friend that last weekend my mom went to see my Aunt a few months before she died.

I wish I hadn't lost the sterling silver faux Tiffany Bracelet I got for my 18th birthday that my sister spent her entire pay cheque on. That bracelet meant the world to me.

I wish I hadn't bought that black H&M dress that I never wore and hangs in my pseudo-closet three years later with the tags still on.

I hate regret....