New Year

Christmas came and went. It was good. Everyone got along, and I had a super amount of fun on boxing day. That's about it. I won't be that person you gives a list of what I got and what I did. I got stuff I liked and I had fun with my family. That's the important thing. Oh, and I went to Church, so no hell for me this year, I fulfilled my duty.

So now it's a new year. Hurrah.... I never got in to the whole new years thing. The date changes, that's it. It's like going Hurrah! Lets get drunk because at midnight it will be Tuesday. Because of this, I don't really celebrate it and I don't make resolution. Real change happens the moment you decide to do it, not weeks later on a random date. Those changes never stick. It's the reason gym memberships explode in January, but come mid-February, the place is empty again.

Despite this, I had a moment of change this week. Two actually. The first my mom. She likely has diabetes. She's been put on a special diet to see if it can be reversed because it could possibly be one of the med's she on, but the point is, I now know I have the genetic gun and the bullet for the disease, and I'm not stopping myself from pulling the trigger with my poor eating habits. I skip meals, I snack, I eat foods I shouldn't because I'm on campus and too poor to buy good food, I don't get enough veggies. All bad things. In an effort to avoid my mothers fate I made a few new rules for myself.

1. At least one proper meal a day (I'm a realist. I'm a student and I can't cook three meals a day). It must include at least 2 veggies, a protein and a dairy.
2. I am only allowed to buy food on campus once a week. This is so I can keep having lunch with my awesome anthro crew on Fridays. Coffee doesn't count. Neither do granola bars. Chips, cookies, bagels from Timmy's and candy bars do.
3. Drink more water and less juice. I don't drink soda, so at least I have that going for me.
4. Try and avoid snacking, particularly at night.
5. Some for of breakfast before class so I don't get hungry before it's time to go home. Even if its just a glass of milk and some crackers, its better than vending machine crap.

So far I've done well, and I already have more energy, but that might all be in my head. Yesterday was interesting because my stomach rebelled at all the extra veggies. I had waaaaay more than usual. I normally eat about 4, plus a glass or two of juice a day. Yesterday I had four at dinner alone, plus the ones I had lunch and breakfast. Apparently it was a slight stock to the system and it wasn't happy. I'm fine now and had the same amount today without feeling sick. Who knows,. maybe it was because I just didn't wash that zucchini properly.

The second moment was just a few hours ago. I was bored because its late Sunday night and there's nothing to do and I stumbled on a random blog. It's written by a late-20something girl who is everything I fear becoming/remaining. She complains about being overweight but does nothing to change it, bemoans her siblings success in regard to her own perceived failures, still lives with her parents, wishes she were married or at least had a serious boyfriend ("Like ever!" in her words), and spend her evenings and weekends at home watching a ridiculous amount of TV shows and movies which she then blogs about.

I saw parts of my self reflected in this blogger. She seems like a sweet girl who has self esteem issues and a slight fear of society, so she hides in TV and her family. Granted I have a few up on this girl, such as education, a completely consuming drive to leave my mothers home the moment I graduate and be independent, and a lack of patience with TV shows these days. There's hope for me yet, but I need to take steps to not become what is easy, but rather to who I want to be. Even if I am terrified. Even if they are hard. Even if I wish I had opted for the easy route. I just don't know how to do this yet. Give me time, I'll get it.

Happy things E (I'm skipping the second F. The first one was fine):
Elephants. Love them! Since I was a kid! But only African Elephants. I think Asian Elephants are ugly. I used to collect elephant things, that collection is currently in a Rubbermaid container in the rafters of the garage.